Where women and men say yes in different measure
The gaps don’t run the same size both ways
Here’s the first thing worth knowing before you read either table. On the activities men say yes to more often, the difference climbs to 21.5 points. On the activities women say yes to more often, it stops at 12.4.
That asymmetry doesn’t mean one side is holding back and the other isn’t. It means these are two separate lists, not one shared ranking with somebody at the top.
Where men say yes more often
| Activity | Women | Men | Gap |
|---|---|---|---|
| Anal sex | 45.8% | 67.3% | 21.5 |
| Deep throating | 67.5% | 83.4% | 15.9 |
| Breast sex | 63.9% | 79.2% | 15.3 |
| Reverse Amazon position | 45.5% | 59.4% | 13.9 |
| Oral sex for him | 78.9% | 92.3% | 13.4 |
| Role play: domination | 60.3% | 73.5% | 13.2 |
Anal sex is the only item anywhere in our data with a gap above twenty points. Even so, 45.8% of women answering yes is close to half, so the distance between those two numbers isn’t the distance between wanting it and refusing it.
Where the numbers sit matters as much as how far apart they are. Oral sex for him gets 78.9% from women and 92.3% from men. A thirteen-point gap at that altitude reads as a difference in enthusiasm rather than a standoff. Deep throating works the same way: two thirds of women, four fifths of men.
The odd one out is role play with a dominance dynamic. 60.3% of women say yes to it, which is higher than their yes rate on anal sex.
Where women say yes more often
| Activity | Women | Men | Gap |
|---|---|---|---|
| A striptease for her | 64.3% | 51.9% | 12.4 |
| Aphrodisiacs for him | 65.4% | 57.1% | 8.3 |
| Tantric massage for her | 78.5% | 71.7% | 6.8 |
| A photo shoot for him | 46.2% | 39.9% | 6.3 |
| Tantric massage at a spa for her | 58.6% | 52.4% | 6.2 |
| Everything except his intimate areas | 83.7% | 77.9% | 5.8 |
Half of this list is touch that slows down or deliberately stops short: two kinds of tantric massage, plus everything except his intimate areas at 83.7%, the highest yes rate in either table.
Two items on this list stand out.
Two things women say yes to more often
A striptease for her pulls 64.3% from women against 51.9% from men. She’s the one sitting down, watching, getting a performance put together for her. Twelve points mean women say yes here clearly more often than men.
Aphrodisiacs for him runs 65.4% to 57.1%, and the setup flips: she’s the one preparing, serving, and steering the evening, and he’s the one it’s aimed at. Her yes rate is still the higher of the two.
Both scenarios have the same shape. Attention pointed at her, or her hand on the wheel. Both draw more yeses from women than from men. If either of you keeps a private list of things the other one definitely isn’t into, those two lines are a decent reason to check it. Our piece on how well couples actually know each other has more on checking those private lists.
Two lists, not one
The game doesn’t measure what anyone assumes about their partner. It only shows that women’s and men’s lists differ, so asking beats guessing.
How to find out without an interview
Asking directly is hard for a reason that has nothing to do with courage: the question gives you away. Ask about a striptease and you’ve announced your interest before she’s said a word, which makes her answer a response to you rather than to the idea. Answering someone else’s questions is easier than asking your own, which is why talking about desires usually works better as a list you go through together than as a conversation you open cold. A ready-made version is in our couples fantasy list.
The other route is the game. Privé’s first round is free, runs 12 questions, and takes a few minutes. You each answer separately, and only the things you both said yes to get revealed. A one-sided yes stays with whoever gave it, so nobody has to explain anything they weren’t ready to explain. Play a round tonight and see how many of your guesses hold up.
Where these numbers come from
They come from 66,572 answers given by 4,688 couples playing Privé. We count only couples where both people finished the quiz, and we exclude test accounts. Each percentage is the share of people of that gender who answered positively to that activity. Read in August 2026.
This isn’t a representative study of the population. The people answering chose a game about intimacy in the first place, so as a group they may be bolder than average. Treat these percentages as a reference point for couples like you, not a portrait of everyone.