Couples intimacy survey

The secret both partners share

In an anonymous survey, each partner rated intimate activities on their own, never seeing the other's answers. This is how often both partners secretly wanted the same thing.

33% of couples

have at least one want both partners secretly long for, but each is too shy to tell the other

67% of the activities a couple rates, at least one of the two wants it

43% of the activities a couple rates, both want it and say so openly

How many secret wants couples share

For each couple, the number of activities where both partners, answering separately, chose “I'd want this but I'm too shy to bring it up.” {67}% of couples share 67, {33}% share one or more.

[OC]Source: anonymized couples survey · 1,627 couples, 23,744 responses

Plenty of wanting, almost none of it shared out loud

Of the activities an average couple rates, most are wanted by at least one partner, far fewer by both openly, and the mutual secret, where both secretly want the same thing, is rare.

[OC]Source: anonymized couples survey · 1,627 couples, 23,744 responses

The activities couples most often secretly want

Share of couples where both partners independently chose the shy-yes option on the same activity.

[OC]Source: anonymized couples survey · 1,627 couples, 23,744 responses

Method

Both partners completed the full survey separately, never seeing each other's answers. The shy-yes (“I'd want this but I'm too shy to say it”) is its own option, distinct from “love it.” A couple counts on an activity only when both independently picked the shy-yes. Every activity had a plain description and illustration. Anonymized and aggregated; no response can be traced to a person or couple.

Data is refreshed once a day. Last update: 16.06.2026, 04:45

Curious what you two secretly share?

Play Privé, the game for couples